Self love is no easy task, in fact, some would say it’s more difficult to love yourself than it is to love other people – which is strange when you truly think about it. I mean, we see ourselves every day, we’ve grown up with ourselves, where did it go wrong? While I am a keen advocator of self-love (although I also struggle with it), I can’t help but think that it’s mainstream society which has cultured us to believe that we are never good enough. Well, to hell with that idea. It’s time to get on ‘the me train’. We’re going to start by asking ourselves two basic questions. Now, before you answer them, start a counter and measure the time you needed to answer each of these questions. Let’s go!
There are a couple of things, right? Maybe a couple more than you care to admit. This is a question that everybody answers pretty quickly. Moreover, this is the question that usually sparks long conversations. Now, let’s go to the next one. Time yourself and check how long it takes you to answer:
The chances are that you spent more time pondering this question than question one. Am I right? If so, you must keep reading. These two questions are not a measure of you against someone else, generally they are designed to give you that ‘aha’ moment; one that tells you that you could and should love your body a bit (or even a lot!) more. Here is what you can do right away to make yourself feel better about the “vessel for your personality”.
Change the Way You Look at the Mirror – I see this during photography shoots all the time. I ask a woman (or man) to check themselves out.. And they just stand there looking glum… so, don’t just stand there! Smile, blow a kiss, make a face – do something. This isn’t for a laugh – although you’ll probably have one. The point of this exercise is to help you stop objectifying your body and to remember that you are inside it. You – that awesome person who is you! And when you find her, really, what’s not to love?
Get in Touch with Your Body – To reiterate, the point of this exercise is to remember that your body is not an object to be judged by you or anybody else. A good way to remind yourself about this is to go somewhere private and to take your own pulse or listen to your heartbeat. That will definitely remind you that your body is more than just a two-dimensional image in a mirror.
Take an Objective Look at Others – Or, just stop judging, it’s not good for the soul. When you look at people from a curious and objective viewpoint you’ll truly understand the meaning of ‘imperfectly perfect’. And if you can do that and “forgive” people for their perceived flaws then you must be able to forgive yourself for yours. Don’t be so harsh. Take a long look at people around you. They look nice, don’t they? They think the same about you.
Make a List of Great Things about Your Body – Even if you really don’t like your body, there must be some things that you DO like. If nothing comes to mind, take your time. It will come to you. Once you’ve got a few, make a list and remind yourself from time to time, especially on days you are feeling down.
Book a Boudoir Photoshoot – Other people see our beauty better than we do. Professional photographers, particularly Manda Renee Boudoir (yep, that’s me feeling confident:) have the ability to help women like you flourish. I do what I do because I love photographing every bit of beauty in every woman and seeing the smiles on their faces when they realize they really are beautiful – I also don’t mind the phone calls I receive from the husbands, wives and fiance’s’ who can’t help but tell me how ‘sexy’ their partner looks.
The final piece of advice I can give you to overcome your inner self doubt is: don’t wait to slim down, look better or wait for when you’re feeling good. Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes and there is no single ideal of beauty. Your body, and all that it is, is the only body that you will ever have, so, if you haven’t already, make peace with it and learn how to love it.